Curious Traveler
C.J. Fitzwater
Stevie Wonder wrote a song called ”Isn’t She Lovely” for his newborn baby girl, Aisha. “Isn’t she lovely, Isn’t she wonderful, isn’t she precious, less than one minute old. I never thought through love we’d be making one as lovely as she, but isn’t she lovely, made from love.”
The moment I saw his head emerging from his mother, a surge of fear, happiness, and relief collided within me. This alien-like creature, with a misshapen head and swollen eyes from his journey through the birth canal, was coated in body fluids, the umbilical cord still tethering him to his mother. After 40 weeks growing in the safety of the womb, he entered the world through a violent act of nature, an act that brought his mother closer to death than she had ever been.
Though the sanitized photos of the joyful new family show none of it, what had just occurred was a primal battle, a raw, animal struggle, quickly buried beneath the flood of maternal and paternal instincts. There may be nothing more vital to the instinctual preparation of raising a child than this near-death confrontation between mother and newborn.
This fragile creature, not yet strong enough to lift his own head, initiates a moment of chaos. And from that pain, agony, joy, and fear, a mother’s love is forged, an unshakable instinct that will stay with her for life. For the father, witnessing this battle flips a switch. It triggers something deep: a drive to protect, fueled by the knowledge of what survival demands. At that moment, a new father begins to question everything, haunted by a quiet, constant fear that if he doesn’t give everything, nearly destroying himself in the process, he’ll somehow fail this child.
Motherhood is the most potent force in all of humanity. And fatherhood, at its best, is shaped by fear. Through birth, a mother is left with a reminder of what it takes to give life. A father, meanwhile, carries the memory of how fragile that new life truly is.
Thirty-one years ago, as an 18-year-old kid, I witnessed this most beautiful and violent act when my son, Joe was born. In an instant, I changed knowing that this tiny creature depended entirely on his mother and me. In that moment, not only was a child born, but so too were a mother and a father. Parenthood is something that can only be understood through experience.
On May 8, 2025, my own mother, whom I also once tried to kill during childbirth, turned 71. And on that same day, Jaqueline Carmelina Fitzwater, Joe’s first daughter, was brought into the world, cut from her mother Gyna’s womb. Covered in blood and body fluids, Jackie carries the genes of French Canadians, West Virginia hillbillies, and the Spanish people of Santo Domingo, groups who endured generations of hardship and poverty, all seeking a better life in the same corner of the world. And now, through their children, they’ve passed life forward once again.
The song continues “Isn’t she pretty, truly the angel’s best. Boy, I’m so happy. We have been heaven blessed, I can’t believe what God has done, through us he’s given life to one, but isn’t she lovely, made from love.”
Jackie is a blend of cultures. She was named Jaqueline after Joe’s grandmother, perhaps the most important person in his life. A woman steeped in tradition, she was full of old wives’ tales, including the needleand- thread pregnancy test: thread a needle and hold it over the spot between your thumb and index finger, if it sways side to side, it’s a boy; if it circles, it’s a girl; if it doesn’t move, no child is coming. I’ve seen it done countless times, and somehow, it’s never been wrong.
Though she passed a few years ago, we always find time to remember “Ma” when we gather. We mimic her thick Massachusetts accent, laughing as we echo her way of saying “fatha” (father) and “shots” (shorts). To her grandchildren Joe, Hannah, and Sarah she was the greatest grandma you could ever ask for. Generosity was her currency. She’d give you her last dime just to see you smile. She enjoyed her Kool cigarettes, her cup of tea, and she loved with everything she had. Carmelina comes from Fabia, Gyna’s beautiful mother, who has become a surrogate to her grandchildren. She pours herself into their lives, building a strong, loving family that has found prosperity in this land of opportunity. Fabia once said of Joe, “He loves my daughter very much.” and to Fabia, that love is what matters most.
But my mother couldn’t be outdone. Maybe it’s only fitting that Jackie was born on her birthday, a child who is the crescendo of the strong, beautiful women who came before her.
“Isn’t she lovely, life and love are the same. Life is Jackie the meaning of her name. Gyna, it could have not been done without you who conceived the one that’s so very lovely, made from love, hey.”
Curious Traveler 
Leave a comment